Friday, January 25, 2013

Oh No! Someone downloaded the KDP test/crap short story!!

To who ever downloaded my crap short story from amazon.

Dear Sir or, more likely, Madame:
I am so sorry. It is not good, hence why the author is named "Penny Reid." If Amazon would let me put a disclaimer on the page asking people to refrain from purchasing I most definitely would.

If you contact me I will return your .99 cents via paypal.

I cannot, however, provide punitive damages or refund your pain and suffering... which is likely substantial and permanent.

Sincerely,
KJ





Tuesday, January 22, 2013

One Hour Flash - Red Price


Prompt: Red Price

Everything was ‘on sale.’

Large red sale tags fluttered between aisles of clothes, trembling in the wake of fervent shoppers. I scanned the room, feeling out of place and the intense need to blend in. It was a shame spiral of awkwardness- the more I tried to look like I was interested in my surroundings and the ‘deals of the year’ which bled in every direction the more I was sure my presence stuck out like a glob of cholesterol in an otherwise healthy and productive artery. 

I didn’t know a deal from rip-off from a steal. It was a sad truth. I’d never been shopping. I was a shopping virgin.

My eyes flitted over to a mother-daughter pair devouring a rack of red-tagged sweaters. They were intent, focused in a way I couldn’t quite bring myself to understand let alone emulate. I watched the mother pull a sweater from the rack, lay it over the other sweaters and pinch the knit fabric between her thumb and forefinger. She tilted her head to the side, as though listening to the sweater and the story it would tell her. She lifted the sleeve, let it fall limp, then turned to her daughter. Their heads were together, the issue of the sweater of utmost importance. 

I wondered if the people who bought my clothes ever engaged in a similar dance. Did they study the garments? Did they ask others for opinions? Did they consider and reconsider? I thought it was unlikely. I felt my mouth pull into a small frown. More likely the clothes were hastily chosen in bulk based on the notoriety of the designer then filtered in quick succession by either Michelle- my companion- or my grandmother. 

The rack in front of me was heavy with pants. I pinched the fabric of the pair in front of me like I’d witnessed the other shoppers do; the material was thin- thinner than I’d expected- and coarse to the touch. My frown deepened.

Somewhere out there were four large bodyguards catching hell for my disappearance. I expected my escape to be liberating, exhilarating. I hadn’t expected to feel so misplaced and uncomfortable.

“Is there anything I can help you find?”

My heart jumped to my throat and I lifted my head automatically at the sound. I glanced around for the origin of the voice and met the kind gaze of a girl- about my age or maybe a little older-a small smile whispering over her lips.

“Um-“ I managed then swallowed, not really sure what to say. I glanced from her to the pants then back again. 

She watched me patiently for a beat, shifting on her feet, “Are you looking for yourself or for someone else?”

“For myself…?” I was acutely aware that the statement sounded like a question. 

Her eyebrows lifted and her smile grew just slightly, “Well, if you’re looking for yourself then let me take you to over to the other side,” she indicated across the room with a tilt of her chin, “none of these are your size.”

I nodded, biting my top lip, wanting to ask her how she could tell but not wanting to sound like any more of a strange bird. Dutifully I allowed her to lead me to the far side of the space; my eyes glanced toward the elevator and the stairway and I attempted to suppress the flutter of nerves when the lift doors opened. I turned my face away from the departing car passengers just in case they belonged to my abandoned entourage. Not that it would have done much good; they would have no difficulty picking me out of a crowd in my current clothes; my height didn’t help matters either. 

The girl glanced at me over her shoulder, giving me what I interpreted to be a friendly smile, “I’m Sandra by the way.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment then stuck out her hand. I took it immediately as it was offered and we gave each other a single shake.

“I am Emiline.” As soon as my real name was out of my mouth I silently cursed myself. I knew- if my picture wasn’t already all over the place my name would be. I felt my cheeks burn. 

Sandra didn’t seem to notice my discomfort and she made no reaction to my name, “It’s nice to meet you, Emiline.” She motioned with her hand toward two racks as we approached- red tags in place, fluttering all around us; “Here we are. These pants are in your size and are tall.” 

I studied the rack in front of me, chewing on my top lip, “Thank you.” I lifted my eyes to hers, “You’ve been most-” movement behind Sandra made my words stick in my throat.

Two imposing, thick necked men dressed in dark suits- I recognized as Gerald and Henry- had just stepped off the elevator. I sucked in a sharp breath and I felt my eyes go wide; impulsively, I ducked low behind the rack of pants in my size. I knew I was being obvious but I couldn’t think of what to do.

Sandra took a step closer to me, her expression confused and cautious, “Are- are you ok?”

If they found me then that would be it. I wouldn’t get another chance. Security would be doubled and I would be flown back home within the hour. 

I glanced up to Sandra with pleading eyes, “Uh. So-” I licked my lips; I wasn’t ready to trust but knew I had no other options. Gerald and Henry would find me in minutes without her help, “So, this is going to sound crazy but I need your help: I’m an heiress and I’ve escaped my bodyguards. If they find me then I’ll be sent back to my grandmother’s island home where I’ll be left until I turn twenty-one. It’s awful. I’m lonely. I hate it there. I don’t want to go back.”

I watched as a kaleidoscope of emotions  mounted her features: shock then confusion then disbelief then cautious sympathy. I swallowed hard, glancing around her toward the direction of the elevator once more. I continued, returning my gaze to her hazel eyes, “I need your help… will you help me?”

Sunday, January 20, 2013

KDP- Test (Part 2) Initial Impressions

So, the "book" (really, short story) is up- (link removed so as to discourage any purchases.)

My initial thoughts and impressions:
1. That was really fast! Less than 24 hours.
2. I don't know how to initiate an author page for the pen name I used, so I'll have to figure that out...
3. I tried to read a sample (via- look inside) and, initially, that feature didn't work. Then, when it did work the formatting was all wonky.
4. Formatting is a little wonky on the kindle too.

KDP- Test (Part 1)

KDP stands for Kindle Direct Publishing

I used to write short stories (another lifetime ago). I still have several just sitting on my computer, doing nothing, loitering actually.

Therefore, I decided to pilot KDP using one of my old short stories as a test.

Of note:
1. Formatting: I formatted the text myself. It is a rather short story and, therefore, wasn't anything to place into Kindle format after I read this book. This was a good test, though. Also, I'm not sure if the chapter headings are displaying correctly. I'll need to troubleshoot this a bit more.
2. Cover Art: I didn't want to settle for complete crap (for the cover) but I also didn't want to actually pay for it. So, I spent 4 hours in the wee morning and designed/carved stamps/tried to remember how to use photoshop and- voila! I made a (mediocre) cover

3. Author: Something nice about KDP is that you can use a pen name (even though the account is under your name). This step is done after you establish your KDP account. Since this isn't one of my best and is just a test I couldn't help but use a pen name... don't judge me!!
4. KDP Select: So, basically this means you agree to allow your book to be distributed/sold exclusively by Amazon for 90days (to be renewed or not every 90days). This was a no brainer for me because I'm not publishing this anywhere else. For much better information on this (than my post) I suggest reading these blog posts:  this one and this one


The book was under review (for 6 hours) and is now in status "publishing" (for the last 6 hours). I'm looking forward to downloading it to my kindle and taking it for a test drive.

As much for myself as for your edification

I'm 80% finished writing my first book.

What now?

The purpose of this blog will be to document my journey- regardless of whether I actually reach a destination- through the condo of uncertainty which is publishing a first book.

Some questions to start:
1. Do I use my real name? The idea of people knowing my name freaks me out.So, I've opted for initials. I could be Kenneth, I could be Karen, I could be cartwheeling (if cartwheeling were spelled with a 'K').
2. Self publish concurrently with appealing to publishers/agents? I am thinking yes. The chances of finding anyone interested in this first effort (or any first effort) feel somewhere between marginal and suicidal.
3. If I self publish, how best do I accomplish this without my book getting lost in the hundreds of thousands of other books available? As much as I hate media and marketing (...or do I?) just making my book visible seems like it will be 9/10ths the battle to Pulitzer prize... er, finding an audience. This question is left unanswered.
4. Meaning of life? I had to add this question so the others don't seem so daunting.

First up, navigating the beast: Amazon.